游擊文化

Why Be a Man? Living Under the Pressure to Compete, Control, and Achieve
何苦為男？活在競爭、控制與成就壓力下的他們

Author:   Yashu Hsu 許雅淑
ISBN: 9786269979646
Date: 11/2025
Pages: 256
Length: 74705 characters

The author is a female sociologist. From childhood to adulthood, she has witnessed how men around her struggle to live up to society’s expectations of masculinity, while at the same time being labeled as privileged beneficiaries.

With keen observation and rigorous research, she reveals the anxiety, repression, and silent suffering that men experience throughout their lives.

Drawing on her own experiences, current events, and social case studies, the author examines the expectations placed on men within the family, school, workplace, intimate relationships, and marriage.

What price do men pay to meet these expectations? And what pain do those who fail to meet them have to endure?

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“Men clearly have many privileges—so what right do they have to complain?”What I see is that patriarchy grants men not only privilege, but also a particular kind of suffering. More expectations mean more pressure, and more pain.

Drawing on her own experiences, current events, and social case studies, the author examines the expectations imposed on men in the family, at school, in the workplace, in intimate relationships, and in marriage. What price do men pay to meet these expectations? And what suffering do those who fail to meet them endure?

What kinds of pressure do men face?

1. The endless anxiety of “never being good enough”
Not brave enough, not tall enough, grades not good enough, job not good enough, not earning enough, not man enough, not successful enough… Men are pulled into a lifetime of endless striving, comparison, and competition.

2. Forced independence and emotional repression
“Real men don’t cry.” To express suffering is equated with weakness and incompetence. This emotionally repressive upbringing deprives men of the ability to express feelings and to understand themselves, leaving them often unable to articulate their pain—or even to want to speak at all.

3. The curse of ‘work above all else’
Work is not merely a source of income but the core of male identity. Unemployed men may feel they are no longer “real men,” facing the loss of both breadwinner status and masculine identity. As a result, many find it extremely difficult to leave high-pressure workplaces.

4. A stratified marriage market
In the marriage market, men are expected to be “higher” in every sense—not only taller, but also homeowners, car owners, and securely employed. These layered demands exhaust many men.

5. Overlooked male depression and the roots of violence
Although men have lower rates of diagnosed depression than women, their suicide rates are higher. Men tend to conceal psychological distress because admitting depression is seen as a sign of weakness. When pain has no outlet, some turn to alcohol, drugs, or even extreme violence to prove their existence.

This is not a book that seeks to excuse men or plead their case. It is written for everyone who suffers under patriarchy. It is a book that finally listens to men—and helps them put their pain into words.

Only when we stop viewing others and ourselves through the lens of “being like a man” or “being like a woman” can we break free from these frameworks, reclaim genuine subjectivity, and gain the freedom and possibility to truly be ourselves.

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Yashu Hsu 許雅淑
PhD in Sociology from National Tsing Hua University. She is currently a faculty member at the School of Sociology and Political Science at Anhui University and a research fellow at the Center for Social Governance Studies. Her main research interests include economic sociology, cultural sociology, and family and gender studies.

In addition to her academic work, she is also an active translator. To date, she has translated and published more than twenty books, including Poor Economics, The Art of Not Being Governed, Native Tours, and Opting Back In.